The Ghost Stories - Subliminal Messages

Artist: The Ghost Stories

Album: Subliminal Messages

Label: Big E's Lone Star Record Hop

There's only one word that comes to mind after listening to Houston, Texas' Psychobilly band The Ghost Stories: stupid.  I wish I could put a positive spin on the term, but what these guys have produced in their debut album, Subliminal Messages, just boggles the mind, leading to oh so many "why the hell am I listening to this?" and even a few "what did I just hear?" moments.  

To start with, the lead vocalist's voice can only be described as a continuous barrage of something that sounds like former Krewmen vocalist Mad Dog Cole's highest pitch squealing.  It's rough on the ears and provides for a highly disjointed delivery.  Instrumentally, the band's tempo is just way to fast for the guitarist's skill.  This is a band that focuses on the "psycho" in psychobilly to detrimental heights.  Notes feel incomplete and really sloppy in their fastest songs, including "Corpse Love," "Get You Into Bed," and "She Called Me Alien."  To their benefit, when they slow things down they show a good understanding of the genre and things tend to fall in place a little better.  The last two tracks, "Moon Shinin' Licks" and "Psychos Logos," even show a little promise.

Lyrically, unfunny poop jokes, jokes about incest, and needless cover songs further hurt the band's appeal.  The appropriately titled "Poop Song" plays like an incredibly generic rockabilly track, and offers a lyrical juxtaposition with the style - essentially making it a 1950s song about poop.  Lead vocalist "Pachuco" sings "I've been poop'n in the neighbour's yard," following it up with "I've been poop'n, and scoop'n, all night," and later revealing "I've been poop'n in the grass and in the sand, poop in my hair and poop in my hands."  Such grade school humour is just really not that funny as a whole track, it's like satire without the funny.  There's also a dreadful pseudo-cover of The Beastie Boys' "Fight For Your Right" (Renamed Fight Fer Yer Right), which adds a verse about "poop and pee" and references The Ghost Stories themselves, which again, just isn't funny beyond the first chorus.  More confusingly, they band almost ditches a lot of their humour to become a very mediocre psychobilly band half way through the album - I'm guessing that they just ran out of ideas.

Humour based bands are always hit or miss, but until now I just didn't know how far they could miss.  Some people claim that The Ghost Stories honour the humour of the psychobilly pioneers of the 80s.  But those bands, like Batmobile and The Klingonz, were smart with their humour and slick with their tricks.  The Ghost Stories are just lazy and unoriginal.  Unless you're a real toilet humour connoisseur, steer clear of this one at all costs.